Witness~

I just witness a breathless sunrise as warmth as her sweet embrace.
I couldn’t sleep, been thinking about her the whole night.
I tired, no matter how I toss and turn, I just couldn’t sleep.
This is getting to me, its beginning to eat into me. I fear very soon, I
may not last long enough before I break down again.

The past few days have been a roller coaster ride of sorts. Emotions run
high and low. I just couldn’t comprehend what the hell is going on.
On my bed I mull over questions and answers related to certain issues.
I just cannot find the answer. It bothers me. I try to find excuses and
even tried reasoning out with myself the possibilities of such actions.
I still cannot find the answers. It eats into me just like being infected
with incurable diseases that breaks you down slowly and finally take your
scumbag life away. For this matter, mine!

Now, I don’t think I am really a scumbag. I have tried my very best to be
the person she wanted me to be. I had given in 101% but it just doesn’t work.
The damn key just doesn’t unlock the door to her, to her world. What in the
damnation of all things I have to do to unveil that door? I have done almost everything for her, just her alone. Is that not enough?

Perhaps I think too much, maybe, just maybe I'm being melodramatic and overly sensitive. Some say I am overly sensitive, which is good but it works against me. ALWAYS! I can vouch to that.

I feel better now venting my thoughts here. Perhaps I can turn in now.
The sunrise is really beautiful beyond description. It kinda gave me hope.
It's like telling me there is more to the darkness I just faced, that there is
still light and rays of hope. Now, a new day has come and new hopes are
born. Don’t fret now, it will be better...

Right now, I can only pray and hope.